eye wuz here

the calcium bands out, an ocular milky way, from the bone. from the pH--I learn this in the waiting room (K scrolling this info up on his Blueberry--what 'buelo Angel coined it in Florida last week)--an imbalance of pH occurs after years of inflammation and thus, a quietly opacifying eye. less like cataracts, more like limestone. it is not that i think the procedure will make the vision in the long quiet eye better. it won't the dr. tells me. it is a purely cosmetic choice--because i can and there a re few things i have that kind of choice about.

eye speculum induces terror, a tiny bloody scene recaled from too much Showtime The Tudors this summer. The acid! The acid! Apply an ablative salve after a superb numbing drop (which i cry for later, in the night, but is not a take-home after-care option). the marmadukish resident, peering through a magnascopic tube over the shoulder of the attending, loses his charm by exclaiming "Wow! s that her epithelium peeling off?" i can take this, I am breathing deeply (thanks Lauren Levin, really--i mean it) but to further keep my calm ( it does not feel like scraping in the brain, but the constant swabbing pressure registers with my heart--empathy for the poor old eye) i decide to mess with the resident. i groan piteously after his exclamation and there is quiet for a moment the dr. marmaduke laughs sheepishly and asks if i mind them talking shop.

i don't really. much in the way i would prefer to be seated in the cockpit of the airplane than the back row.

after the procedure--i actually get finger count from across the room vs a foot from my face. this is an unexpected benefit.

the pain--no one told me till after. all my glaucoma surgeries of the past few years were far more involved but apparently this simple in office corneal cleanse is comparable to childbirth and kidney stones...of the eye. the densest cluster o nerves n the human body is located beneath the area they scraped (i thought that was the clitoris my mom said, vying for levity).

i knew i would fall toward self-recrimination--choosing agony for cosmetic reasons. This Vicodin has inspired this rare blog post. Meanwhile, the dr. says my epithelium is coming back as it should be, scalloped and then sworling. he even said it was superpigeonous --a word i have yet to grasp or google successfully, but am glad to claim. anyone?